“Time apart with God” — this is what I have taken to calling my “Daily Quiet Time” or “Bible Study Time.” I did this because I realized I needed much less-defined parameters… so that I feel less like a failure if something specific doesn’t happen… meaning the ideal: spending a set 15 minutes, or even 5 minutes, following a planned Scripture reading, or getting a paradigm shift, etc. All of these things are ideas which have become more of an expectation in my heart than a guide as they were meant to be. At the end of a quiet time, I can easily feel like a failure (and unconnected to God) if I haven’t been able to check them all off the list.
This new approach has become really refreshing, especially on the mornings I am unable to read anything at all before the baby starts to cry. (The timing is amazing.)
On even the most rushed of my days, I can at least close my eyes, break away from my busy thoughts, breathe deeply, and just whisper His Holy Name: “Lord.” Then, usually, I stop to lay down my load before Him and ask Him to enter into my day… “Be the Center” of my day. Sometimes I get as far as singing along with a favorite worship song and glorifying Him with the harmonies in my heart, or even dancing and ushering His presence into my home. But always… I seek to rest in His presence.
Sometimes I might read what I can of the DAB (Daily Audio Bible) reading for the day… today, this caught my eye:
22 The Israelites said to Gideon, “Rule over us—you, your son and your grandson—because you have saved us from the hand of Midian.”
23 But Gideon told them, “I will not rule over you, nor will my son rule over you. The LORD will rule over you.”
It struck me that in the two areas of my home and my children, I feel such an incredible, at times overwhelming amount of responsibility. Tension mounts when things go wrong or I make a mistake, or when I haven’t finished my targeted agenda before I have to stop.
I felt the Lord telling me today that I need to put Him in charge… He will rule over my children, even now, and be my leader in the home. Instead of myself being the keeper of these things, He is in charge. I am accountable to him for the home, and he is in charge of my family: their health and happiness, their outcome of personality and character, and our relationships.
Finally, He is helping me relax and achieve that rest I crave so deeply in this area.
Maybe you needed to hear it too.