Past Fears to Present Confidence

Today I hosted a group of women at my home, complete with kiddie pool and sprinkler in the backyard…. a far cry from where my mindset has been in my life up until now, which was that I must protect myself from being known too well since I might be judged or rejected.  It is amazing to me the healing that the Lord has brought to my life in the past 5 years or so.  I am so deeply thankful for the women and men in my life who have pioneered this healing frontier with me, praying and listening and advising and supporting.  All in all, their safe friendship has allowed me to walk as a new person in the identity which Christ engineered from the very beginning, and which Satan has tried in so many ways to squelch and ruin.

I have come to realize that it really is true: To have a friend you must be a friend.  I have spent years trying to instill in my brain the basic questions one can ask a person whom one barely knows: Do you live near here?  Where do you work?  What’s that like?  How do you feel about that?

I have also had to learn that my responses are not nearly as important as the listening and loving part.  I might have a certain thought which I can think about sharing, but really, if I want this friendship to blossom, I can first get to know their side and what we have in common, then go from there.

For example, one woman who was here this morning seemed somewhat scared.  I took that in, and realized that I might be able to help her know she is in a friendly, safe place… so I took to asking her those safe questions and letting her responses be whatever they were… awkward or whatever… I have been that awkward girl who doesn’t know what to say, and so often have ended up saying something dumb-sounding, and have been kind of eyebrows-raised-at, and it is not exactly the best way to make me feel like I want to come back… so though there are balances to social standards, I also think that catching whatever ball someone else throws is the best way to have good improv… theatre talk, sorry…

That’s all for now… thanks for reading!  🙂

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2 thoughts on “Past Fears to Present Confidence

  1. I’ve definitely been that awkward girl many, many times… and this year especially as I’ve been awkward in another culture/language. It’s made me value those “safe” people so very much and be more intentional in offering that safety to others. Making those connections can be so life-giving!

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