There is a great post here which talks about allowing yourself to deal with the loss of pre-baby life “without feeling anxious or resentful.” What it suggests is to make a list of the things you miss from being pre-baby (or I think, even pre-married) and then actively pursue talking out with a friend or your hubby which of them you could make a priority to reenter into doing if you want to.
So, here’s my list, and I’ll post eventually about how it’s going! As a disclaimer, I think overall I am doing well in adjusting. It’s been almost three years since I married my husband and a year-and-a-half since I got pregnant… and in that time, I’ve still had fun, I think there’s room for more though. And I love being married and being a mom, not only of a stepson but also of a birthed son.
1) Going to the late movies at 11pm.
2) Drinking as much as I want (three crown and cokes usually).
3) Going thrift store sailing on my own, or at least without having to worry that one more having to put the baby back in his carseat will make him melt-down.
4) Being able to model.
5) Experimenting with my hair without worrying how it will affect others as much.
6) Not having to worry about what’s in the fridge or pantry.
7) Not having to pay for a babysitter or even find one.
8) My garden time.
9) 100% lazy days.
10) Spur-of-the-moment late night dates.
11) Buying things for myself without worrying how I’ll pay for something that someone else needs.
12) Sleeping as long or as late as I want.
13) Cooking/baking as long as my energy will hold out, that being my only focus.
14) Working on crafts or projects uninterrupted.
15) Cleaning uninterrupted.
16) Bible Study or prayer uninterrupted.
17) Solitary walks and exploration.
18) Drinking coffee without worrying about how baby will act after nursing.
19) Not having to always keep a checkbook balanced.
20) Not having grey hairs from stress.
21) Not having dark circles from sleep deprivation (appearance).
22) Getting my nails done, or toes.
23) My massages.
24) Eating out more.
25) Working at restaurants being my exercise, and getting good food 1/2 off while learning about food, too.
26) Crying in privacy.
27) Wearing whatever I want (or don’t want).
28) Talking out loud if I want without getting any response.
29) Clothes fitting.
30) Listening to music or movies as loud as I want and not worrying about content.
31) Missions trips and world travel (although I have to say I don’t miss this one too much since I did an awful lot before settling down!).
That’s it for now!!! 🙂