This has been an incredible couple of weeks.
It seems that the moment I finished writing that list of things I miss, I was flooded with an awareness of those needs being met. I am almost glad now that I was hurting before, because I have enjoyed not only the intimacy of asking the Lord for what I need or want, but also the acute specifics of his provision! Wow!
Here are a few things that have happened:
1) Going to the late movies at 11pm :: I have had two nights of uninterrupted, late-as-I-want movie watching. Of course this made for a few groggy mornings, but then, they were more relaxed and happy groggies (my own word) than if I had been “good” and gone to bed. Thank you, Lord!
2) Drinking as much as I want (three crown and cokes usually) :: I’ve started taking my husband up on those offers to have a beer when I look frazzled. He is so good to me. Thanks God, for beer and for my husband.
5) Experimenting with my hair without worrying how it will affect others as much :: My hubby and I are contemplating giving me “breaks” from long hair… I would give lengths of it to Locks for Love and then have fun for a bit before growing it back out for his and my enjoyment. That is not decided for sure…. I really feel my husband’s enjoyment of my locks comes first. I like it long, and I am sure we will find a way to compromise here, but it’s nice to think about it afresh. Thanks, Lord!
6) Not having to worry about what’s in the fridge or pantry :: Along with one of those movie nights came a day of NOT having to balance anyone’s calorie intake but my own and the baby’s (and he’s easy! lol). SIGH. 🙂 How nice! Thanks, God!
7) Not having to pay for a babysitter or even find one :: Courage afresh to ask around for sitters… pending finding them, but hey…. it’s tough on a tight budget, but — oh, and my stepson actually babysat for an hour while the baby slept, so hubby and I could go on a mini-date. 🙂 What an awesome kid! Or, as we perpetually tease him, “What a nice young man.” Thanks, Lord!
9) 100% lazy days :: I have had at least three full or nearly-full days of rest. PTL! That makes all the difference.
11) Buying things for myself without worrying how I’ll pay for something that someone else needs :: A huge area of my life now… and though I am sure the Lord has more to do for my budgeting in this area, a dear friend of mine generously invested in my wardrobe almost 3 days after I posted that (and NOT after reading my blog). There are not words for this gesture. I almost have to try not to feel guilty for being so blessed. Thank you, Dear Friend. What a gift.
12) Sleeping as long or as late as I want :: I am finding creative ways to get extra naps… one is to let the baby sleep with me, so he can nurse as long as he wants. He almost inevitably sleeps longer that way. And then I get a few winks too. SIGH. So nice. Also, once in a while, putting the baby in the playpen and a movie on quietly while I sleep on the sofa so he can see me, helps too. He doesn’t tolerate that for long, but hey — it’s better than nothing. Thanks Lord, for that creativity, and for a baby that trusts me.
13) Cooking/baking as long as my energy will hold out, that being my only focus :: One of the reasons I used to like to do this was the quantity I could crank out on my own… well, recently I have started hanging out with some jr high and high school girls from church, who incidentally love to bake! So, the nice thing is, they do half the work or more, we get to hang out, someone holds the baby, and I get to have a goodie to eat, to share, and to fill my home with yummy smells of buttery goodness…. SIGH…. Lord, this list is almost getting too long! (Wayne’s World: “I’m not worthy!”) So much rest, so much joy, so much more peace. Thank you, Lord.
16) Bible Study or prayer uninterrupted :: This one has taken a different sort of turn. I realized that I have been afraid again of not measuring up to what Bible Study should look like. I got prayer at church yesterday about this, with some good results… too much to go into here, perhaps more on that later.
18) Drinking coffee without worrying about how baby will act after nursing :: I’ve started planning to drink caffeinated coffee only when he’s NOT about to nurse or just after he’s asleep. Just planning that has helped me to stay away from the caffeine the rest of the time, and enjoy it like the treat that it is. Man, that makes it sound like I’m fixated on drinking coffee all day. Don’t worry, I’m not.
26) Crying in privacy :: The amazing thing is, after realizing this enough to type it out, I actually allowed myself to cry in front of my husband the next day. He had to be reassured that it was just a passing storm and it wasn’t his fault, but I told him it was just part of myself that he hadn’t seen much because I had been so shy about it…. good stuff. 🙂
29) Clothes fitting :: You already read the amazing answer to this one.
More to come, I’m sure! Praise the Lord with me! 🙂