Archive | November 2010

NOTHING ELSE FIRST

“I love you.” That is the answer!

Every time I get tired, grumpy, overwhelmed, sad, frustrated, ALL of those negative things that come and go as I live out each day as a parent, wife, friend, or just as a pregnant woman…

I hit walls of exhaustion, want to give up, start to cry, or I lose my temper…

I’ve learned to try and do this with a buffer of sorts, giving myself breaks to get calm, or get out of the rut.  I am also learning to admit to myself these feelings, to let myself be hurt, or exasperated, to acknowledge that this is how I feel!  Even though it is not how I want to feel.

But every time I turn to my heavenly Father and say, “Daddy, I am so done! I am so tired! Please, tell me how to keep going!” his answer is NOTHING ELSE FIRST except: “I love you!”

He NEVER chides me, never teases me, smirks sardonically, or says, “Well of course you can’t do it, only I am perfect.” He never rolls his eyes. He never laughs at me (though he may laugh with joy because he is just so happy with me, his precious daughter, who delights his heart). This amazing God of mine tells me each time, NOTHING ELSE FIRST but “I love you.”

I am so amazed. He has even gone the further step of sometimes prompting my incredible husband to listen to my fears or frustration, then say the same thing.  (More recently, however, my hubby has also included blowing bubbles on my arm or face.  It makes me laugh.)  It is true my hardworking husband also needs to hear I love him too, and loves it when I admit that my frustrations are also largely due to being pregnant again and all the hormones that come with it.  But, what a gift I am to him, he says, and all I can say is, “nonono, what a gift you are to me.”  What a gift, what a gift!  How did I come by that!?!?

Thank you Lord, for your love, and for expressing that love to me countless ways each day, but mostly when I am down, dirty and hurting. I love you, too.  You deserve more praise than I can ever give.

Happy Thanksgiving, Friends.  And, a picture of the Baby-On-The-Way.  🙂

Baby Pumpkin @ 10 wks

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