People have often said to me “I don’t know how you do it,” with a wide-eyed look at my two-under-two as though I have a brave — or insane — spirit. I used to do the same thing. I used to think it was all about having easy pregnancies — the lucky — or insane? — ones who enjoy pregnancy are the ones who are brave enough to keep going. HA.
I definitely have my moments where I just want to scream and cry. I love having children, and they are so beautiful to me, but when they bounce back and forth on who is screeching or fussing, or when they won’t go to sleep, or when they must have MAMA… I can feel a little too spread thin and too tired and… how does that line in the book ‘Captivating’ go? “Too much and not enough, all at the same time.” Something like that. My emotions and needs are too much for me to handle, and I am not enough.
So as I have gone forward into the fray, I have asked God more and more how to handle these moments. I have gotten prayer… it’s been a good journey and an exciting one too.
I find there is always one card I can have in my back pocket. Say I can’t think or I can only cry or I just want to sleep… as happens as a Mommy, especially one who is still not quite fully recovered from pregnancy/birth: I can pray.
When all the ideas on the web and all the Scriptures in the Word and all the great advice FAILS to come to mind, because, let’s face it, MY MIND IS TIRED and refuses to cooperate a lot of the time, I am learning to sit back, relax, let the children scream or fuss or myself be overwhelmed or whatever it is, for a moment, and start to pray. I go “God, I don’t know what to do. HELP!” In the words of Joyce Meyer, “I am such a mess! HELP!” And I wait. I don’t act until I hear from him.
Inevitably, a few moments may pass or a split second, but God shows me the next step. It’s amazing. I can calmly try that, and sometimes I have to repeat the process. Other times, I find myself crying first before I can try anything. But it works. God clears up my heart, and fills in the blanks so I am no longer “too much and not enough at the same time.” He heals my hungry heart for that moment, and walks (or carries) me through it.
It’s amazing. You should try it. I bet it doesn’t work for only new Mommies.
Thanks for reading, Friends.